First Impressions!

Sitting in a gift store as the weekly manager, idly reading a book - I stopped and stared. Into nothingness, pondering over how much I liked this place I was volunteering at. After a brief visit from my first 'friend' there, an 80 something year old lady named Josie, who is not only affably welcoming but also genuine, it occurred to me that I positively believed in first impressions! The first time I called the place I conversed with a professional toned lady named Carol at the Reception desk. I then met with this warm, radiant lady named Karen - the Director of Volunteering services. And then my now friend, Josie who taught me the nuances of dealing with customers and computers at the cash register in the cafeteria. And from then on, I knew I was gonna like it here. I agree, it's been only one month since I first started my volunteer services here but it's been a great first month! I wake up purposeful every morning - not just knowing that I have a place to be at that keeps me very busy indeed, but also the zest of doing what I do well. Starting afresh every morning, recovering from previous day's imperfections and believing in second chances and the life-long process of learning, I feel almost brand new daily. And I love that feeling - of carrying no baggage of presumptions, regrets, unanswerable questions that weigh you down. I like that feeling of everyday being your first day. And here's hoping that all the days to come are filled with just as much sublimity of simplicity! 

Comfort vs Appearence

I walk into a Forever 21 store today knowing exactly what I wanted to buy and I assumed that since I already knew what to get, I'd be out in a jiffy. I had laid my eyes on that black top with white stripes and layered puffed sleeves two weeks ago. It was only $10 when I first saw it and to my surprise, it cost only $8 two weeks hence. Anyway, still pretty sure that I'd be done before I knew it, I picked up a size M and walked confidently into the fitting room - still expecting to be done very quickly! And once I tried that top on, I was faced with this rather confounding question - Was it comfort or appearance for me? This size M fit well - rather too well and I wasn't sure I wanted something so figure-hugging! I wasn't sure that made me Comfortable! So I figured, may be yeah - size L might be it and dashed out of the fitting room and right into the pile of the different sizes and picked up what I thought I wanted. Only to realise that just made me feel discouragingly unsettled. Because this size was tad too big. After endlessly questioning why there wasn't a size just in the middle of the two, I knew this pointless rambling could go on forever. I found myself trying on the two tops, 5 times each to figure out which one of them 'felt right'. And at the end of fifteen mins and persistently alternating between the two I was sure that by the time I walked out, I would have one of them in a yellow bag! But this whole episode left me bagless and unpleasantly startled at how such a simple decision could have only one answer - I think I'll just come back tomorrow.

While one of the tops made me feel too comfortable, the other one kind of revealed my figure which was pretty good to feel. I thought one of them was too roomy and THAT made me uncomfortable! The idea of walking around wearing something that clearly is oversized! And then I figured may be it wasn't just comfort vs appearance, there was a third factor that I conveniently discounted - feel. I presumably equated comfort with feeling good only forgetting that we live in an era of relativity. What about 'too' comfortable? In an age of consumerism where we find ourselves spoiled for choices more often than not, I think its the 'feel' factor that should be of utmost importance to a buyer while wading through piles of colours, sizes, designs, lengths and so so much more!

Keeping Portland weird!

One of the first big cities I traveled to in America outside of Pennsylvania state was Portland, Oregon. With a population of 600,000 in the city, you see fewer people there than in a city like New York or Philadelphia. It's a unique place with its extraordinary cleanliness and greenery right from outside of the airport. It's got these cool Light Rails connecting the rest of the city like downtown and stuff to the Airport and other important places. It's the only public transport we used to get around in those few days we were there. Portland's apparently like other west coast cities especially SFO, I've heard. Maybe it's sort of a miniature SFO, only much lower in its coolness quotient because San Francisco is San Francisco. Anyway, it's a city that has still retained so much of the hippie-culture from the 1970s. You find people randomly sitting together on the pavements of a busy road, from seemingly diverse places but coming together having one significant element in common, their love for music. Loose hair let down, sometimes with braids and sometimes without, colourful apparel, smoking secretly and an instrument of some kind in their hands. Even in downtown Portland you find cyclists finding their way hurriedly, getting from one place to another. Bicycle is a 'normal' mode of transportation in Portland. Portland also has these bizarre graffitis asking everyone to 'Keep Portland Weird'.
This city is located on the banks of the Willamette River which runs for about 187 miles entirely in Portland. So having this peaceful river by its side, gives this uniquely gorgeous city even more character. You find walkers/runners in the evenings with or without their dogs breathing in fresh air from the vast open spaces in and around the banks. Portland is surprisingly known as the 'City of Roses'. Why I find it surprising is because you see a lot of trees around in the city but not necessarily trees with flowers.

Portland also has this Lan Su Chinese Garden right in the middle of downtown Portland. Okay, not quite EXACTLY middle but you get the drift right. It's a tranquil place with little waterfalls here and there giving the soothing sound of flowing water. It's a pretty huge property spanning atleast 40,000 square feet with the background of skyscrapers. You feel all zen-like inside and it could quite be the meditation home you rightfully need in the midst of all the corporate insanity.

Portland also has what I think might be the largest and most skillfully designed book store. It's sectioned based on colours; each colour representing a particular genre of books you'd find. It feels like an overwhelming maze at first, but with the direction map in hand and a few minutes into the store, your literary senses pull you through and get you where you wanna be.
Like every large city in the US, there has to be atleast one whacky thing that made it so big it features on the 'top 10 things to do/see'. And for Portland, it is doughnuts.

Yup! This place called 'Voodoo Doughnuts' is started by two old time friends; one with great business acumen and the other with his incredible web of social networks. This place has an insane number and variety of doughnuts that literally make you go nuts. Chocolaty, Chocolatier, Chocolatiest. Dark, Medium, Milk. Vanilla, Butterscotch or plain chocolate. Hell, they even have meat on their doughnuts. And the most incredible of the lot are the sizes. They could pretty well be of a 3 cm diameter. Oh and, there is a half mile long queue at this place at any given business hour - which by the way is 24 hours. So we got our doughnut at 12.30am and relished the Oreo flavoured one to its last bite on a cool, sea breezy night in the city of Portland that we definitely wanted to keep weird, just like the Portlanders do.

Of sights, sounds & experiences in the New World!

I moved countries 2 months ago. Leaving a country I was born in, grew up in, made tons of friends, got my education, worked and where my family still lives.. In short, I left a country in which I have a million memories. And then, I got married and moved..To a land formerly known as the 'New World' for its innumerable opportunities and immense untapped wealth, with a population of a few thousands, but land enough for a few billion!

I was pretty sure of what to expect. But I was so wrong. I expected to feel lonely, out of place like I didn't belong here and expected to take forever to feel like this was home. Actually, I'm not sure I was entirely convinced about feeling that way at all. But this place took me by surprise. And by this place I mean the borough of Lansdale in Pennsylvania state (About 40 mins from Philadelphia) and the US in general. It's warm, friendly, helpful, tolerant and so much more. People here are actually courteous, not in a way where they greet you when you enter a store or a supermarket. They actually let the other car who wants to join the road go ahead of them! Seriously? Well, I understand the rule of the pedestrians. It's the law to yield to them cross the road and give them right of way, but not cars. People here still do that..People here in Lansdale do a lot of things actually, which makes it a really awesome suburb to live in. And most importantly, it's strategically located. I'm pretty sure it was intended that way though. It's a short drive to Philly, NYC, Washington DC, Atlantic City, New Jersey, Boston et al. Amazing right. And the public transportation here is SUCH a blessing! In the first two months of getting here, I could go to a lot of places on my own using the buses and my iPhone for directions! I never felt immobile.

Who would've thought that I could find a home away from home in a place half way across from home? Who would've thought that I could see friends in the people I barely know? Who would've thought that I'd be on my way of making a little family of sorts of my own?

Parts of me here and there.

Who are we really, if not just the memories, the special moments of happiness, sadness, anger, hurt and also, reconciliations, understanding, wisdom, patience, hope and faith. Who are we really, if not the reflections we see in the eyes of other people in a happy moment of joyous sharing and giving of love? Who are we really if not the love we feel in the small *tight hugs* we get from our loved ones? Who are we really if not the patience we exude in a momentarily reaction in anger? Who are we really if not the countless thoughts that occupies our mind space in remembering the people we love?

We are all this and so much more.

While I'm taking this big leap in my personal life, I also feel like I'm taking a big leap in my spiritual life. I feel like I can see more black and white than gray. I feel like I understand things not just at the surface level anymore but beneath that hard, rocky layer of doubt, fear, insecurity, dissatisfaction. I feel more responsible for my actions and my feelings. I feel like I've found freedom in its truest sense where you're not dependent. And therefore, not helpless.

And which is why I think although we're all that above, we are also the hope that we possess, the faith and resilience we feel that no matter what I'd get through the hardest of times, the belief that even though love is a two way street, it is also unconditional and expects nothing in return because love is that feeling you also feel when you give. We're also that person we know we'd be who enjoys life by just living entirely in the moment, we're also that person who knows that a difference can be made by just giving and spreading the joy, that person who doesn't know what lies ahead but also knows that it is mostly what we make of it and that way, letting things fall into place on its own. 

Under or Over Communication?

In this technologically infused world with such new age tech savvys, I sometimes find it amusing how comfortable we as a race are, in communicating with over 500 strangers about our daily chores and musings. No, I'm serious. I find it thoroughly amusing when I hear people these days talk about the reasons of some of their problems. "No communication", they say. But I refuse to believe this. In this world where everyone is seemingly hooked onto communication in its diverse forms and mediums, why do we find it so hard to get across something to ourselves or sometimes, the ones we love the most? It's like we're lost in the flow of thoughts that follow when you see the 'events' happening in other people's lives, how do we expect our minds to actually render help in building our own? So many people, so many events, so many thoughts. But at the end of the day, how many of us check the quality of these thoughts? Or check how many of them were actually productive for our own lives? Since when did we start giving other people so much significance, that we have actually forgotten own very own self?!

I know for sure that one of the reasons among the hundreds other, is facebook. Why do we feel such an intense need to show the world how much fun we're having, or how happy we are? I dunno. Is it because we know that we're not that happy? Or just that we're plain happy and want to show the world that? Well, some questions will remain questions.