Why can we NOT have a facebook account?

Recently I saw a friend reactivate her facebook account - after a break of almost 1.5 years and it got me thinking. I really thought she'd never come back on facebook. And she did a pretty darn amazing job of staying out of it for so long.. I've thought of deleting my account numerous times, just like a lot of people on my list I'm sure. And I've seen some friends do a great job of staying out of it for so long, only to see them re-appear and change their display picture to claim their stage and let everyone know 'I'm back!'. What is it about facebook that makes us want to delete or not delete or stay in a dilemma about deleting our profiles?

I do think facebook is entertaining, I really do. Especially staying away from home and a place where all my friends who I've grown up with are, just quickly checking facebook and seeing what everyone's upto makes me feel less alienated from the rest of the world. Even if it's just for a few moments. Having said that and in the same breath, I can't deny that my thought process during some of these times is not the healthiest. I'd be lying if I said that I've never socially compared my life to others', or that sometimes I feel like some of them always look beautiful  and in every picture they're tagged, or that some of them are constantly having fun, or some of them are always traveling to these exotic locations and just living life sans responsibilities.

I'd like to believe I'm an intelligent person capable of good reasoning and analytical thinking. Yes, I'm not perfect and get caught up in small things too - but for the most part I can reason well enough. How much of all that we see on facebook do we really believe to be true? Just for one moment - forgetting all our insecurities, fears, choices, life questions, identity issues - if we think about it logically and look at it through different glasses, what do we really see or think about what we see? How can anyone really be having such an elaborate social life? And even if they do party every day of the week, is that what we really want or count as fun? We all have different definitions of fun, happiness, social circle etc. But why are we living in denial of this difference in our definitions or why do we think that one definition of, let's say, fun - is better than the other? And seriously, how is it possible for someone to look so good all the time? It is humanly impossible to not have a bad-hair-day or look less-than-perfect every single day. I recently read an article with vivid pictures of models before and after their makeup and photoshop!

After many attempts and thoughts of having or deleting my facebook account, I don't believe that deleting your profile is going to change too much. And as an intelligent race, we have to find a way of dealing with it. So next time you log on to facebook and see all these statuses and pictures of people, stop and think. Think about what makes you happy, think about all the times you've looked beautiful, think about all the gorgeous places you've traveled to, think about 'that night' when you had the most fun.

That cuppa coffee in the rain, that favorite Thai dish, that beautiful dress which makes you look more gorgeous, that dinner with that special someone, that glass of wine, that run on the treadmill, that friend who just gets you, that conversation about life and dreams, that memory which instantly puts a smile on your face.

Let's use this insane social media in a more responsible way, of making others smile, of sharing knowledge/ideas/thoughts, of just being plain authentic. Who are we all trying to fool anyway? 

a day of nothing in the sunshine state

So I decided to accompany my husband on his official trip to Florida to make it a fun one for myself. My parents left after their visit here 2 days ago and the sadness of it all has still not worn off. I'm still a little numb from overwhelming emotions of joy, regret, satisfaction, pride, unhappiness et al. I'm still kind of in a state of pure oblivion - having created a barricade in my heart to block the emotions and feelings I do not want to feel.

I decided to rest in and sleep till late after a whirlwind three and a half weeks. Since I'm in sunshine-y Florida, I have to get out and wear shorts. Soaking myself in a good bath and feeling clean, I decided to grab some good lunch. Veggies, goat cheese on a flat. Blissful. On our way to the hotel yesterday, I spotted a $20 tarot card reader and I decided to find out what fate had in store for my career - for only $20. Walked about 20 minutes basking in the sun, I found the house which was all decorated for Halloween - only the witches, skeletons, ghosts et al were taken to an extreme. Seeing the "please ring the bell" sign, I patiently rang the bell and waited. And waited. To no one opening the door and a creepy sound coming from a basket placed below the skeleton. At that moment, I turned back and was so glad that no one opened that creepy door. Note to self : Next time you attempt going to a tarot card reader, you're so not going alone. 

Walking back to the safety of familiar surroundings around the hotel, I walked into a quaint store hoping to find a "Florida" fridge magnet to add to my collection. But to my disappointment (or not), I did not get the fridge magnet but bought myself a cute charmed necklace instead, with the letter 'T'. Now would be a good time to mention that at some point, I'd like to gift myself a chain reading "Tivoli", just like "Carrie" has one. Judge me all you want, but I still think 'Sex and the City' is a great show. Feeling the joy of adding another accessory to my collection, I walked into a Starbucks to further my love for writing and get back to that habit.

I usually write non-fiction in the form of articles - which was my style until now. Today I decided to further the boundaries I'd set for myself and attempted a poem. Yes, me and a poem. I always thought it wasn't my cup of tea but after having written one for pessimists, I realized how much I enjoy this new mode of expression. Another note to self : Do not set boundaries, always experiment. 

An ode to the pessimists

You get just one life, dear you.
And the choices to be made are far from few.

You know the difference between the bad and the good.
All you need is the courage for this to be understood.

Make no mistake, there will be times when you cannot see the white from the black.
But that would be the time for you look back.

There is a plan and there is the divine.
Just close your eyes and see the sunshine.

Forget the gray clouds, because they are just passing by.
It won't be very long, till you see the blue sky.

Make the effort to change the way you think.
You do not want to push your luck to the brink.

You get just one life, dear you.
And everyday you can start anew.

Parents

When did parents turn from our strength to our weakness? Moms and daughters have such a special relationship - they can't live with each other nor can they live without each other. It's a relationship where a lot goes unsaid - for the better or worse. Moms understand so much that the daughters don't even have to say - they can just sense it. Maybe we understand these things only at a time when we're not living with them anymore, and I'm not sure if that's right.

My parents visited me here in the US recently. For three and half weeks, and saying goodbye to them at the airport was the hardest. My fear of missing them so much and having a sleepless night the day they leave came true. It feels right now like everywhere I went with them, I'll see them in those places when I go again and that scares me even more. Even the little things seem much bigger right now. All the things you had taken for granted are valued more. It's different when you move to a different city and leave everyone behind, it's all new - places to be explored and memories to be made. But it changes when you're the one left behind. And that's how I feel now. But this trip of theirs has changed us in many ways - for the better for sure and I hope it's to stay. I've, for sure, become more tolerant to their different tastes, ideas and attitude towards some things and I see them meeting me halfway, which means the world to me. 

Identity

How many of us stop and think about this? Our Identity. There comes a time when a lot of us free float this earth, moving from one thing onto another. We're in a bit of a daze, I'd like to say, caught up in the hustle -bustle of the city life. We're so busy conforming to societal benchmarks, we forget to think for ourselves. Of course, this is not highlighting the strata of population that have not been doing this. While there is a large part of us that has ignored the incessant innuendos of 'uncles and aunties', there is also a large part that has succumbed to it. I've had the opportunity to stop and think. More than once, and I can't be grateful enough. The first time when I was in India and the second, here in America. While the former was more of a farce break - I was looking at an MBA and the pressures of it took up most of my mind space, the latter has definitely been more reflective and may be, productive? Partly also because I have the world's best husband and I'm the luckiest to have him.

I'm now going to move on to the part of reflections, hoping that more of us take the time to stop and think in life. I have always been an ardent advocate of "you get to live life only once", though I also feel guilty for not being an "absolute" follower of what I.. preach? Note of self - another item on my list of 'to do in 2013!'.
But what I mean when I say 'Identity' lies beyond the surface of what your job is! Rising costs of living has driven us to pursue careers that guarantee a good return, but there is always more to life than just that. Who are you, in your core? I know I've spent more time thinking about this only after moving to America, looking at the dignity and respect "every" job do-er gets here is one of most satisfying things for me as a human. What I've also learned is you don't "just" have to be an analyst, or a secretary, or an accountant or anything else that may seem boring. You can be any of the above and so much more. For real. My yoga instructor's "daylight" job is clerical social worker and nighttime job is "yoga instructor". The opportunities are incredible and waiting to be tapped!